Have you noticed there is a hierarchy among the nerd community? Like a level of nerd that allows someone more privilege than a lesser nerd. When you walk into a comic store, and whip out a pack of "Magic Cards", does the clerk behind the counter shake his head? Or what happens when you ask, how soon until you get your shipment of 20 sided dice in?
A better example would be a story of a few years ago at my 30th birthday party, where a debate broke out about the upcoming Star Wars Episode III movie. (I honestly don’t remember specifics about the debate, because I was so drunk that I proposed to a half dozen people that night. and licked all the icing off my birthday cake) During this debate, a "lesser" nerd friend of mine, Scott attempted to put in his 2 cents. And I, in my high and mighty, wanna-be Lucasfilm-all knowing way, berated him. I told him he was not a Geek enough to participate in such an intellectual Dork-off. Then I spent the rest of the night puking green icing into the toilet.
Who am I to tell someone they can’t be a geek? Just because someone hasn’t memorized the entire script of the trilogy, this doesn’t make them a lesser nerd. In the original script of "Return of the Jedi", Luke is told that Owen Lars was actually the brother to Obi-wan. In the new Trilogy, we find out that Owen Lars is actually Anakin’s half brother, thus truly being an uncle to Luke Skywalker. Does this knowledge make me a better person than my dear friend Scott? (Only a little bit) Is Scott, doomed to be made fun of and ridiculed each time he participates in a heated discussion about, "how fast is a parsec, and isn’t that a measurement of distance?" Never again!
I now realize and love that many of friends fall into different categories of nerds. Although, I’d like to believe that being a Comic book nerd puts me on top of the "dork" food chain. I realize now, I am not. I have friends who are Toy Nerds. I have friends who are Miniature Nerds. I have Star Wars and Star Trek dork friends. D&D… I have them too. Goth Nerds, Big Bang Nerds, Simpson Nerds, Lord of the Ring Nerds, Video Gamer Nerds, Magic the Gathering Nerds, Cooking Nerds, Music Nerds, you name it. Hell, my Dad is a fishing nerd. (Dad if you need help with the blog, let me know. I have Ideas!)
And Scott, you’re a nerd too. You can school me on Music, Cars, Carpentry, Billiards, and most Basic Motor Skills, just to name a few.
So next time you hear someone says, "Comics are just for kids." Or "Gasp; Look at that grown man, buying toys. I don’t think he has any children." Stand up to them. We will never have to put up with, "Those teens are playing with cards, and they aren’t gambling?" Or, "Did you see those dorks playing 2.0 when version 4.0 D&D is out? You guys suck THACO!" Never again, nerds unite! This is the moment when you put on that fake Darth Vader helmet and have sex with quarterback’s the hot, cheerleader girlfriend. Then you go to the pep rally and give a great speech about how we are all dorks. Well, We are all dorks!! So I say in conclusion, If you are a nerd, if you know what "Bah Weep Grana Weep Nini Baum" means. If you love knowing that William Katt from "The Greatest American Hero, TV show auditioned for the part of Luke Skywalker. If you are a nerd, you are my friend.
Except you guys who play GURPS. No thanks, keep walking.
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